Parenting Groups

Parenting Groups

 

We all know parenting is hard, though some moms and dads refuse to admit they have any problems. When the going gets rough, it’s always good to have someone to talk to about your problems, and to get advice from those who have already been through what you are facing. Parenting groups were designed for just this reason, and you can find them online in great numbers, and you may also find them in your community. No matter what parenting throws at you, there is someone out there to help you out. If you can’t find any parenting groups near you, you may just want to start one yourself.

 

There are parenting groups out there for everyone. You can find ones that are full of moms nearby, or you can chat with parents from around the world. You never know, you may find some of your closest friends this way. Parenting groups also tend to cater to a certain age group. Many groups are sectioned off so that parents of young children know where to find each other, and parents of rebellious teenagers know where to post to find the most support. No matter what problem you are facing, there is someone who has been there, and they may have the best solution for your problem.

 

There are also parenting groups in your community and online that deal with very special issues. If you have a special needs child, you have a whole host of issues that some other parents may not have been through and cannot fully understand. Any parent can keep you company and offer you compassion, but the real help comes from other parents with special needs children. They may offer you information you may not have found on your own, as well as teach you coping skills to help you and your family to deal with your unique family situation.

 

You can also find parenting groups for conditions and problems. If you have a child with a medical condition, there are other parents just like you out there who are more than willing to offer you support and guidance. If you have a teenager who has a drinking problem, or who keeps running away, there are parenting groups out there just for you. It won’t take you long to find them, and you will be glad you did. Sometimes having someone to talk to helps, even if they can’t solve your problems for you.

 

Join our LIGHTHOUSE 2911 newsletter.  It’s FREE.  Fill in your information in the appropriate area.

 

 

Few Tidbits for Parenting

New parents face many problems and issues that they are expected to understand and deal with immediately.  Unfortunately, newborns do not come with an instruction book so here are a few topics that you may need to know about. 

 

* Bathing your baby:  Until your baby’s umbilical cord falls off one to two weeks after their birth, only give her sponge baths.  A cotton ball or cotton swab dampened with alcohol can help to dry the umbilical stump or follow your pediatrician’s directions.  After the stump falls off, you can give him a bath in a sink or shallow tub. 

 

* Caesarian delivery:  A caesarian is usually performed to make delivery safer for you or your baby.  C-sections can be done for many different reasons including stalled labor, complicated labor, problems with the baby that may make delivery difficult, or other problems.  It does not matter if you deliver vaginally or by a caesarian section, you are still a mother with a beautiful new blessing.   

 

* Circumcision:  Many doctors agree that there may be some benefit to circumcision, but it may not be absolutely necessary.  It may help to lower the risk of urinary tract infections and eliminates just about any chance of penile cancer.  Circumcision does not cause long-term emotional problems for your child. 

 

* Crib death (SIDS):  Many studies have been done regarding SIDS.  Although the cause of SIDS has not been definitely defined, there are some correlations that have been made between SIDS and the following things: 

 

o Male babies are more likely to die from SIDS than females

o Prematurity makes it more likely

o Minority children are affected by it more often than non-minorities

o More children of young, single mothers die from it

o Children who live in a home with one or more smokers are more likely to be affected

 

Some people say that sleeping with your baby can reduce the risk of SIDS, but the American Academy of Pediatrics disagree with this statement and go on to say that there is a greater risk of SIDS in babies who co-sleep. 

 

Back sleeping is what most pediatricians recommend for babies to decrease the SIDS risk.  The reason for this is widely debated between health experts.  If you have concerns, talk to your pediatrician. 

 

 

Join our LIGHTHOUSE 2911 newsletter.  It’s FREE.  Fill in your information in the appropriate area.

 

Yahtzee - an Educational Game?

Education can be "hidden" in a lot of toys and games.  When you think of educational toys and games for your children don't overlook some of the obvious ones.

 Today we will talk about Yahtzee, most say it is all in the luck of the roll.  That maybe true but there is some logic involved as well.  Do you use four ones for your four of a kind or do you try for sixes instead.  Do you go for your large straight when you have a 2, 3, 4, 5, or do you try in when you have a 1, 2, 4, 5?

 But besides the logic there is basic addition.  Learning to count by 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, and 6's.  Then of course you need to total up the score.

 The game of Yahtzee doesn't take long and even if you are playing with a younger child that cannot add up the final scores just the exposure to counting by 2's and 5's for example will help them understand math concepts later on.

 Yahtzee is also great because it doesn't matter how many players you have, and you can even play by yourself and try to top your best score.

 Then you must not forget the sheer pleasure of spending time with your children doing something enjoyable.  Children flourish when attention is spent on them.  You don't have to plan an expensive trip to the amusement park to spend quality time with your children, just doing something that is enjoyable to both of you and giving them your attention is often enough.

 Start your children young introducing them to different concepts such as addition, reading, etc.  Young children love to learn and you will most often find a willing pupil that is excited to learn new things, especially when it is their favorite teacher instructing them, you.

 Your Personal Parenting Style and Your Child’s Sleep

 Good mothers and fathers come in many styles. Each one of us has different strengths, interests, and values that make us a great parent. Don’t let yourself become discouraged or disappointed when others ‘give you advice’ that doesn’t seem to mesh with who you are. Maybe you’re not a roll around on the floor kind of parent with your child.  Maybe you’ve decided to hang back and let your little one explore. That’s great! As long as it works for you and your child, nobody should be able to convince you that your method is incorrect or wrong. Once you recognize and embrace your own personal parenting style, you can stop trying to live up to everyone else's expectations and get on with the business of enjoying being a parent.

 It’s important to keep in mind too, that these well-meaning advice givers don’t know your child as well as you.  They aren’t there with your child night and day, watching him grow, learn, explore, play, eat, and sleep.  Only you know what’s best for your child, and you know what works best in your household and for your lifestyle.  As with anything, figuring things out along the way will involve trial and error. 

 So when you receive yet another unsolicited piece of advice regarding your child’s napping or nighttime sleeping habits, keep both your and your child’s personal style in mind.  You’ve done the legwork, you’ve experimented, and you’ve learned together what works and what doesn’t work.  The cues should come from your instincts regarding your child and from your child directly.  There’s no such thing as a hard-and-fast rule for sleep habits among children other than it is needed! As your child grows, his cues may change, but as long as you stay in tune with him, his sleep habits shouldn’t have to suffer as a result. And neither should yours.

 

YMCA Helps Families Bring Healthy Habits Home

Keeping kids physically active and healthy isn't exactly child's play. Efforts to keep kids fit are most successful when scheduled as a family affair, according to Chicago-based YMCA of the USA. Children are more likely to stay active and to make smart, health-related choices when parents lead by example.

 "Families that make health, activity and exercise priorities in their daily life enjoy many benefits like strengthening family ties, developing similar interests, preventing chronic diseases and, most importantly, simply having fun as a family," said Mike Spezzano, national health and fitness specialty consultant for YMCA of the USA.

 The YMCA offers six "get started" tips for embracing a healthier lifestyle at home:

 1. Commit to 20-30 minutes of physical activity as a family each day. Walk the dog as a group before dinner; share an afternoon bike ride; play a game of tag; plan fun weekend outings like nature hikes or skating.

2. Prepare healthy meals at least five days a week. Select recipes that use lower fat, sodium, and refined sugar; choose natural and unprocessed ingredients when buying prepared meals; buy fruits and vegetables over unhealthy snacks.

 3. Choose to eat meals together in the kitchen or dining room. Eating on the go or in front of the television leads to unhealthy eating habits.

 4. Hold a weekly family meeting to set group goals about health and activity. For extra encouragement, display goals for everyone to see.

 5. Stress and conflict are major culprits in undermining healthy goals. Reduce stress at home by agreeing to respect the property and feelings of fellow family members; accept responsibility for personal actions; and behave in a caring and thoughtful manner.

 6. Celebrate success with simple rewards. Enjoy movie night or a YMCA family night; buy a new board game; create hand-made awards; reinforce achievements with positive verbal feedback.

 

 

 

Your Child Is Missing

If your child is missing, time is of the essence! Take a deep breath and try to remember the last place you saw your child. If your child is missing from home, search the house quickly, check the closets, basement, and laundry, under beds, where ever else you think your child may crawl or hide. Check the doors and windows, do you see any way somebody got in. Yell out their name. Remember all this must be acted on as fast as possible! I can’t stress that enough!

 If you still cannot find your child, immediately call your police department!

 Be ready to have as much as possible details for the police. Try not to panic as the police department will need your help .Grab as much recent photos of your child as possible. They will need to know vital information of your child. When you call the police, provide your child’s name, child's age, height, weight, and any other unique identifiers such as eyeglasses and braces. Tell them when you noticed that your child was missing and what clothing he or she was wearing. Supply them with the photos and if there is any signs of a break in.

 Let them know of any possible reasons your child may be missing. Were there any friends or strangers in the home before? Are you going through custody problems? Many missing children are abducted by family members or known people.

 The best thing to do is prepare your kids to help prevent these situations. Let them know over and over. Don’t speak to strangers. If you feel threatened let somebody know as soon as possible. If you are grabbed, yell out loud for help! No one has the right to touch, grab or force you to do anything that feels wrong. Tell them to bite and fight as much as they can. Many times these simple things will scare off a would be abductor.

 

Your Teen: Tips On Successfully Fitting In

Most teens feel "different" in one way or another. Parents may understand their teens, but sometimes not in a way their children want them to. Here are some things to remember that may help parents understand their teens and help them to fit in:

 Remember, at this age friendships are very important. School is a teen's home away from home and parents should be prepared to feel a little neglected at times.

 Understand and accept that teens can be a different person when they are at home or at school; when they are with family or with their friends.

 Allow teens to keep some of their thoughts to themselves. Whether they want to communicate or not, keep the lines open at all times.

 Remind young teens that everyone doesn't have to like them and that socializing is a skill that gets better with practice.

 A good way to learn how to fit in might be to read books and watch movies about how other kids their age do it, such as "Napoleon Dynamite" or "Dr. Doolittle 3," which has just been brought out in a new DVD.

 In the third Dr. Doolittle, the next generation, Maya Doolittle just wants to be a normal teenager despite the fact that she has inherited her father's uncanny ability to talk to the animals. So far this ability has brought her nothing but trouble.

 Maya heads to Durango summer camp to get to know herself better. While there, she realizes that she can use her gift to help save the troubled ranch.

 This hilarious third installment of the wildly popular series is not only great fun, it's a nice lesson on how new surroundings can sometimes help teens realize it is okay to be different.

Do Not Let Parenting Stress You Out

Parenting does not always have to be a stressful job. There are ways to take care of your kids without always getting stressed out. Here is a list of techniques that a person can use to help manage their daily stresses and anxieties while taking care of the kids.

 Share the responsibilities of being a parent with your spouse. Do not try to do everything all at once. If you and your spouse can learn to work together then parenting will not be as stressful. Your stress will decrease when you share the responsibilities in taking care of the kids.

 Many times we get overwhelmed with many different tasks that we face. When this happens, a person should stop what they are doing and try to find something to do for a few minutes to get their mind off of the problem. A person could take a walk, read a book, or watch some television to get their mind off of their problems. This will help you to refocus on your present situation.

 Do not put off tomorrow what you can do today. Things have a tendency to build up if you keep putting them off. Do what you can do today. If you have to help your kids with a school project, try to get started today instead of waiting till the end of the week. When the end of the week comes, you will feel better that you got started in this particular task.

 Learn to pace yourself. Don’t do too much because you will get burned out. A person can only do so much in a particular day. Stay organized and don’t do everything all at once. This will help you to manage your stress.

 Take a day to relax. Taking the day off to go to the beach or to go shopping will help you to relax. Let your babysitter or spouse take care of the kids for part of the day.

 Being a parent does not have to be that stressful. Finding ways to cope with your stresses will help you to enjoy taking care of the kids. If you have trouble doing this, then seek the services of a professional.

... And she pushed them, and they flew! More inspiration for control freak parents

You cannot catch a child’s spirit by running after it.  You must stand still, and for love it will soon itself return. 

 -Arthur Miller

 

This became evident to me several summers ago, when I spent 6 weeks suffering with a severe case of hives all over my body.  When the itching first began, the only way to find relief was to lie absolutely motionless.

 

My kids, who are delightfully self-entertaining, went about their business for the first few hours, checking in on me occasionally to see if I needed anything.  As the day wore on, they realized that I was a sitting duck.  They set up camp on my king size bed, and we proceeded to have some very deep and thought-provoking conversations. 

 

I doubt these interactions would have occurred if I had been my usual productive and bustling self.  I probably would have interrupted the quiet time that was necessary for their questions to emerge in order to jump up and fold the laundry before it wrinkled. 

 

I hardly ever sit still when I’m healthy.  There’s always so much to do.  Hives taught me lots of important things ... not the least of which is that the world will not collapse if I don’t hold it up.  Sure, I fell behind on things.  For the first time in my life I left phone calls unreturned, and dishes in the sink, and laundry wet and wrinkled for days. 

 

But the sun continued to rise and set anyway.  I didn’t lose any friends due to my poor response time.  And my kids learned how to take care of dirty dishes and clothes.

 

My son is a budding chef, and he had lots more freedom in the kitchen when I wasn’t there telling him what to do or how to do it better.  He was so proud to serve us the delicious meals he had prepared.

 

I’m sure you know where I’m going with this.  Sometimes the best thing we can do for our kids is drop out and let them experience their own competence.  My kids blossomed during my down time.  I think it was really great for them to feel needed and important; to make a contribution to the family that really mattered. 

 

Yeah, it’s sad that it took a nasty case of hives for me to realize that I was not giving them enough opportunities to experience their own competence, but so be it.  Now I know.  These are true confessions of a compulsive caretaker.

 

Testing my lessons learned, I asked my son if he would fix a towel hook that had fallen off the wall.  He seized the mission with zest, gathering all his tools together and tackling the problem with great concentration.

 

I stayed busy elsewhere in the house and left him alone.  I’ll never forget the look on his face when he came to tell me the job was done.  Not only had he fixed the hook, but he had even cleaned up the mess and put all the tools away!

 

I’ve realized that the best way to love my kids has changed as they’ve grown older.  It’s not so much about taking care of them anymore.  Now they need opportunities to discover their ability to take care of themselves. 

 

I’ve graduated from being their source to being their resource.  My job has changed from doing things for them to expressing my confidence that they can learn to do things for themselves.

 

Just in the nick of time, too.  I’ve been craving uninterrupted opportunities to write and think and meditate.  I’m relieved to know that I can take this time for myself without feeling that I am depriving them somehow. 

 

I guess I needed the reassurance that it was ok, even good for them, that I wanted space to myself.  Mama Bird at some point needs to get tough on her babies while getting them ready to fly.  Maybe Mother Nature gives her a helping hand by offering her the tool of irritation to toughen her up so she does what must be done.

 

Traditionally it’s been hard for me to trust that even my irritation could be ok.  Once more, I have been reminded that all is truly as it should be.  And for that, I am grateful.