5 Family Fitness Tips

5 Family Fitness Tips by Knute Keeling, Author of Family Fun and Fitness.
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Top 10 Divorce Tips - Family Law Attorneys Fayetteville NC

Go to http://divorcelawyersinfayettevillenc.com/child-custody-lawyers-in-fayetteville-nc/family-law-attorneys-fayetteville-nc/ Family Law Attorneys Fayettevi...
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Little Twist on Single Parenting

I believe in a two parent household and not for the reasons you may think.
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Welcome to single parenting

Hi everyone thanks for watching my youtube video. I made this video and my website to give families tips on dealing with family court. Check out my website f...
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Parenting Tips - Bullying First Aid

Wood's Homes is proud to present our 100th Anniversary Speaker Series and Parenting Workshops throughout 2014! Our second session was held on February 25th, ...
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Parenting an Angry Kid: The Secret to Getting the Respect You Deserve

Parenting Question

I have a parenting question regarding the challenges I have with a strong willed child. The challenge we have is with our 12 year old.  When corrected she will argue her point of view until the bitter end.  Our point is never taken into account and it usually ends in a long drawn out yelling match.  If you don't agree with her point of view, she doesn't feel heard nor understood and then becomes defensive and does not even listen to our side.  We say black, she says white. My parenting question is how can we prevent family yelling matches and resolve issues with control and authority?

Sincerely,

Penny - One Tired Step Mom

 

Positive Parenting Advice from Family Counselor Kelly Nault on Dealing with an Angry Kid

 

Dear Tired Step Mom,

 

Being a step mom offers a host of challenges and I applaud you for taking the time to find a solution to your family stress. The key to solving conflict with an angry kid like your daughter is to understand what she really wants and give it to her. And what an angry child really wants may just surprise you. Transforming an Angry Kid with R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

 

An angry kid either wants greater control in their life or respect from their parents (and often times both!). The more respect you give your child (especially children approaching the teenage years), the more respect they will give you.

 

Here I have used the word R.E.S.P.E.C.T as an acronym to give you some commonsense parenting tips that can solve the conflict in your home quickly.

 

R Respect Your Child – Always treat your child, as you want to be treated. This is sometimes easier said than done but essential to your success. Children model what they see. Even if your child has provoked you, falling into parenting traps such as yelling or using harsh punishment only teaches your child to lash out and disrespect you more.

 

The simplest way to determine if you are being respectful is to ask yourself: “Would I use this tone and say what I am saying to a friend or acquaintance?” If the answer is “no” (and you’re pretty sure that they would recycle you for a new friend), it’s time to change your tone.

 

E Expect Respect in Return – We always treat children how to treat us. When children are disrespectful it is important to respond in a respectful but firm way that lets them know you will not be walked over. Say something like, “I can see you are angry right now. I am happy to listen to you once you use a respectful tone with me. When you change your tone come and get me as I really want to hear what you have to say.” If they continue being disrespectful, keep your mouth shut, walk away and wait for them to come to you in a respectful manner before discussing any further.

 

S Support Your Child – Support your child by having enough faith in their ability to learn from their mistakes. Refrain from “I told you so” comments and don’t spend a lot of time (if any) pointing out what they did wrong. Once things have calmed down ask them “How did that work for you?” “What did you really want?” and “How could you make it better next time?”

 

P Positive Attitude – Remaining positive helps more than we often know to keep the atmosphere in our home supportive. Do what you need to do to keep yourself positive by getting enough sleep (sleep deprivation can turn us into a raving Godzilla), do things you love to do and spend quality fun time with each of your children.

 

E Encourage a cooling off period in the heat of the moment – Continuing a fight while you are angry will never solve a fight. When feeling angry always take a short cooling off period so you don’t escalate the fight and say something you will regret later on.

 

C Create Family Rules for Fighting – When things are calm, create family rules for fighting and post them in special places around the house (even put one in your wallet and in the car). Include the following: what each family member will do during their cool down period to make themselves feel better, an inspirational oath or prayer that you agree to read out loud after every one has cooled down (before discussing the issue) and specific ways each of you will listen to one another. To get best results create this document as a family.

 

T Train Your Child – Good parenting means taking the time to show your kids how to do things on their own. Give them more responsibility over time. With a hectic schedule, it can be easier and quicker to do the task for your kids rather than taking the time to teach them how to do it for themselves. Training is what gives our children a chance to develop essential life skills, gain self-confidence, and ultimately feel respected.

 

How to Ask for an Apology from an Angry Child

 

When we do another wrong, apologies are the path to healing. Apologies are precious commodities that are not to be thrown around lightly in conversation, and not to be wasted during a heated discussion. In times of conflict, we may say something like, “I expect an apology young lady!” in a tone that means “NOW!” But in reality this is only a verbal punishment. The time for apologies is when all parties are calmed down enough to give, hear and feel them.

 

You can absolutely ask for an apology from your child but for any apology to be effective it needs to have flexible terms. A request for an apology should sound like this: “I would like an apology when you are ready to give it.” This simple statement is honest, clear and respectful. Parents aren’t the only ones deserving of an apology. It is important for moms and dads to apologize when they have messed up too.

 

Your family is fortunate to have you as their step-mom. By remembering that your angry child is simply crying out for more understanding and more respect you can solve the conflict that has you so frustrated. Give them respect, expect respect in return and watch your child’s behavior change for the better.

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Yahtzee - an Educational Game?

Education can be "hidden" in a lot of toys and games.  When you think of educational toys and games for your children don't overlook some of the obvious ones.

 Today we will talk about Yahtzee, most say it is all in the luck of the roll.  That maybe true but there is some logic involved as well.  Do you use four ones for your four of a kind or do you try for sixes instead.  Do you go for your large straight when you have a 2, 3, 4, 5, or do you try in when you have a 1, 2, 4, 5?

 But besides the logic there is basic addition.  Learning to count by 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, and 6's.  Then of course you need to total up the score.

 The game of Yahtzee doesn't take long and even if you are playing with a younger child that cannot add up the final scores just the exposure to counting by 2's and 5's for example will help them understand math concepts later on.

 Yahtzee is also great because it doesn't matter how many players you have, and you can even play by yourself and try to top your best score.

 Then you must not forget the sheer pleasure of spending time with your children doing something enjoyable.  Children flourish when attention is spent on them.  You don't have to plan an expensive trip to the amusement park to spend quality time with your children, just doing something that is enjoyable to both of you and giving them your attention is often enough.

 Start your children young introducing them to different concepts such as addition, reading, etc.  Young children love to learn and you will most often find a willing pupil that is excited to learn new things, especially when it is their favorite teacher instructing them, you.

 Your Personal Parenting Style and Your Child’s Sleep

 Good mothers and fathers come in many styles. Each one of us has different strengths, interests, and values that make us a great parent. Don’t let yourself become discouraged or disappointed when others ‘give you advice’ that doesn’t seem to mesh with who you are. Maybe you’re not a roll around on the floor kind of parent with your child.  Maybe you’ve decided to hang back and let your little one explore. That’s great! As long as it works for you and your child, nobody should be able to convince you that your method is incorrect or wrong. Once you recognize and embrace your own personal parenting style, you can stop trying to live up to everyone else's expectations and get on with the business of enjoying being a parent.

 It’s important to keep in mind too, that these well-meaning advice givers don’t know your child as well as you.  They aren’t there with your child night and day, watching him grow, learn, explore, play, eat, and sleep.  Only you know what’s best for your child, and you know what works best in your household and for your lifestyle.  As with anything, figuring things out along the way will involve trial and error. 

 So when you receive yet another unsolicited piece of advice regarding your child’s napping or nighttime sleeping habits, keep both your and your child’s personal style in mind.  You’ve done the legwork, you’ve experimented, and you’ve learned together what works and what doesn’t work.  The cues should come from your instincts regarding your child and from your child directly.  There’s no such thing as a hard-and-fast rule for sleep habits among children other than it is needed! As your child grows, his cues may change, but as long as you stay in tune with him, his sleep habits shouldn’t have to suffer as a result. And neither should yours.

 

YMCA Helps Families Bring Healthy Habits Home

Keeping kids physically active and healthy isn't exactly child's play. Efforts to keep kids fit are most successful when scheduled as a family affair, according to Chicago-based YMCA of the USA. Children are more likely to stay active and to make smart, health-related choices when parents lead by example.

 "Families that make health, activity and exercise priorities in their daily life enjoy many benefits like strengthening family ties, developing similar interests, preventing chronic diseases and, most importantly, simply having fun as a family," said Mike Spezzano, national health and fitness specialty consultant for YMCA of the USA.

 The YMCA offers six "get started" tips for embracing a healthier lifestyle at home:

 1. Commit to 20-30 minutes of physical activity as a family each day. Walk the dog as a group before dinner; share an afternoon bike ride; play a game of tag; plan fun weekend outings like nature hikes or skating.

2. Prepare healthy meals at least five days a week. Select recipes that use lower fat, sodium, and refined sugar; choose natural and unprocessed ingredients when buying prepared meals; buy fruits and vegetables over unhealthy snacks.

 3. Choose to eat meals together in the kitchen or dining room. Eating on the go or in front of the television leads to unhealthy eating habits.

 4. Hold a weekly family meeting to set group goals about health and activity. For extra encouragement, display goals for everyone to see.

 5. Stress and conflict are major culprits in undermining healthy goals. Reduce stress at home by agreeing to respect the property and feelings of fellow family members; accept responsibility for personal actions; and behave in a caring and thoughtful manner.

 6. Celebrate success with simple rewards. Enjoy movie night or a YMCA family night; buy a new board game; create hand-made awards; reinforce achievements with positive verbal feedback.

 

 

 

Your Child Is Missing

If your child is missing, time is of the essence! Take a deep breath and try to remember the last place you saw your child. If your child is missing from home, search the house quickly, check the closets, basement, and laundry, under beds, where ever else you think your child may crawl or hide. Check the doors and windows, do you see any way somebody got in. Yell out their name. Remember all this must be acted on as fast as possible! I can’t stress that enough!

 If you still cannot find your child, immediately call your police department!

 Be ready to have as much as possible details for the police. Try not to panic as the police department will need your help .Grab as much recent photos of your child as possible. They will need to know vital information of your child. When you call the police, provide your child’s name, child's age, height, weight, and any other unique identifiers such as eyeglasses and braces. Tell them when you noticed that your child was missing and what clothing he or she was wearing. Supply them with the photos and if there is any signs of a break in.

 Let them know of any possible reasons your child may be missing. Were there any friends or strangers in the home before? Are you going through custody problems? Many missing children are abducted by family members or known people.

 The best thing to do is prepare your kids to help prevent these situations. Let them know over and over. Don’t speak to strangers. If you feel threatened let somebody know as soon as possible. If you are grabbed, yell out loud for help! No one has the right to touch, grab or force you to do anything that feels wrong. Tell them to bite and fight as much as they can. Many times these simple things will scare off a would be abductor.

 

Do You Show Your Love To Your Child?

Show-and-Tell in various forms is a popular feature of many preschool classrooms.  When you watch children making their presentation you understand the popularity of show-and-tell.  Kids love to talk about their interests and passions but they love to share those interests and passions even more.

 Kids are all about show. As a parent you know this. We have to demonstrate and lead our children by the hand through every lesson--both big and small.

 So why do we so often think it is enough to simply tell our children that we love them?  It isn't enough.  Love is the biggest show-and-tell of them all and you need to make it a part of your everyday life.

 Children do as we do, not as we say, and down the road do we really want our children simply mouthing the word: "I love you" to us as they rush out the door? Or do we want them to show us in many ways?

 This is why it is crucial to show your child that you love him.

 Hugs and kisses are good. So are tickles and games. My son and I have little bedtime rituals that allow us to show our love for each other. We snuggle for bedtime stories and talk about the day. Then we come up with ridiculous ways to count how much we love each other, for example 12,567 heffalumps was one recent description. Then we butterfly kiss, Eskimo kiss, and finally squish and smooch (our code words for hugs and kisses).

 However these are not the only ways that I demonstrate my love for my son.

 When I was growing up I never doubted that my parents loved me. They made very clear that my brother and I were a top priority for them. They sacrificed professionally and personally to give us time together as a family. My father coached; my parents chaperoned, volunteered, and chauffeured; and my parents attended every school function, play, concert, and game.

 More than that though my parents took an interest in us as people and would play games or ride bikes. They would simply spend time with us doing the things that we liked doing.

It really isn't just about time. After all, both my parents worked and were active in the community. My mother was the only working mother in the neighborhood when I was a child.

 It is a question of priorities. YOU know that your child is your top priority, but what do your actions tell your child? If repeatedly your actions put something or someone else before your child then they are going to get that message loud and clear no matter what is in your heart.

 Most days my husband leaves for work before our son is even awake, but when he comes home in the evening the first thing he does is scoop Noah up for a tickle and hug. Sometimes Noah even makes his father chase him because he knows that his father will. Noah knows that he is a priority for his father and he trusts that love.

 So how can you show your child he is a priority? How can you demonstrate your love for your child? Find some way every day to show as well as tell your child of your love. Some ways we do this in our home:

 

                ~ Skip dinner preparations and make a picnic together to eat at the location of the child's choice. Noah's favorite is up in his tower.

                 ~ Clicking off the TV to lay on the floor and layout a train track. Coming up with new designs can actually be pretty relaxing for the parent after a stressful day!

                 ~ Going for a walk and just talking about whatever comes up. This is one of Noah's favorites!

                 ~ Setting down my own book to read Noah one of his.

                 ~ Putting off kitchen cleanup to go outside and play soccer or tag.

  Notice what all these actions have in common? They don't involve money, just your time and attention. That is the gift your child values above all else. Sure they'd like that latest toy and gadget they see advertised on TV, but they love you and long after that toy is abandoned in the back of their closet they will still choose to spend time with you.