The most difficult job in the world is to be a parent and
it's the one job that no one does any training for. New parents get tons of
advice from family, friends and experts in the media. All this advice is
sometimes contradictive and it's very confusing. Sometimes, you just have to
follow your own instinct. After all, no one knows the child like his or her own
parents. If a strong bond is forged between parent and child in the early
years, the family will survive the difficult teenage years, which will surely
come. Parents have different parenting styles when it comes to the thorny issue
of discipline. Debates rage on which methods are the best.
One of the constant arguments is over corporal punishment,
to smack or not to smack. Smacking was commonplace when I was a kid and it was
part of life. It was probably overused and some parents did it out of habit,
rather than as a well thought out strategy to instill a sense of right and
wrong. I tended to be smacked when I was being a nuisance rather than for the
times when I was actually doing something bad. It was an unthinking response of
the older generation, a lot of the time. Sometimes, it was calculated of
course, and more like going to the Head Teacher's office to get the cane. The
next generation started to question parenting styles and a lot of people
rejected smacking altogether.
If smacking is outlawed in the home, what can replace it?
There are different measures, which parents employ, according to their choice
of parenting styles. Stopping TV for a week or two is one way, or grounding a
child may do the trick. It's really a mercenary act of getting them where it
hurts. Some kids will prefer a quick smack to being grounded and not being able
to see their friends. Sending a child to his room doesn't seem to work like it
used to. These days, children's bedrooms are full of the latest gadgets and
home entertainment centers. It's not exactly a place of punishment or quiet
reflection!
Parents are very busy people, running a home and holding
down jobs. It's tempting to give in to children's demands when you come home
exhausted from a day at work. Kids can sense weakness and know when to strike!
Parenting styles may have relaxed over the years and no one wants to go back to
the Victorian severity when children were seen and never heard. However, it's
important that we don't tip too far the other way. We don't do our kids any
favors by giving in to their every whim, and what they need most of all is our attention.
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