Parenting Tips: Dealing With Behavior Problems Among Children

Behavioral problems are among the most common issues of parents with their children. Behavioral problems can manifest in their habits, due to psychological disorders, and can affect social relationships. Parents need to understand the reason for their children’s behavioral problems to help and encourage them.

Here are some common behavior issues that parents have to deal with:

• Psychological disorders

Psychological disorders can lead to anxiety, depression, aggression, and may affect the child’s mental performance. This can be a result of a traumatic experience like an abuse or injury. It could also be due to sudden family changes or problems like divorce, illness or death.

Children may not show their response right away to traumatic events especially if it would involve separation or divorce, death or an addition to the family. When changes like these happen, it is important to encourage them to share their feelings. Changes should be explained to them prior to the event.

Children from different age levels would respond to traumatic events differently. In younger children, it could manifest in their sleeping and eating habits. Teens and young adults would often show changes in their social relationships with their families, friends, and school performance.

• Habits

Habits like thumb suckin, nail biting, hair pulling, hitting or biting themselves could be a response to situations where children may experience tension and pressure. To address these, parents should reinforce the child’s positive development. Meanwhile, habits like thumb-sucking is better off ignored.

• Sleeping issues

Every child seems to have undergone sleeping/night-time problems, like nightmares, enuresis or bed wetting. For instance, about 20% of five years old wet their bed. By the time they reached 10 years old, the percentage is just 5%. About 2-3% of children bedwetters, wet their bed due to medical conditions and problems.

Bed wetting could be a result of diseases, small bladder, food allergies, hormonal imbalances, sleep apnea, constipation, social changes and stress. Nightmare is another night-time issue. It is important to talk to children who are suffering from sleeping problems.

For bedwetters, make sure that they feel assured that bed wetting is normal. Never humiliate or physically punish them for wetting the blankets. There are different treatment methods that parents could use to help resolve bed wetting like alarms, use of medication, schedules and of course, encouragement.

Night terrors, nightmares, sleep walking and sleep talking are other sleep problems. You could start by having a calming bedtime routine to settle down the children, assure and settle their fears. If sleeping problems continue and disrupting the child’s activities, then there are sleep specialists and doctors who can help you.

• Eating problems

Children could be picky and they could end up not consuming the right amount of nutrition that they need. Eating problems could be refusing to eat, playing and not eating during meal time, and eating non-food items.

Children may refuse or dawdle when eating if they want attention, too pressured by the parents, eating time is not pleasant or they may be still full. It is important to plan their meals. For example, if they want to eat snack so close to lunch time, you could provide them small proportion of snacks which would still leave them interested to eat during lunch time. Make sure that there are no toys, television, and other disturbances during meal time.

Children could have eating disorders if they are dealing with complicated situations and emotions. Talk and reassure them. After all, they are still children, they are still confused with things and their feelings.

Another eating problem is when children eat non-food items. This disorder is called Pica. This disorder could be a result of nutritional deficiencies that target specific cravings, mental problems, parental neglect, or food deprivation.

It is normal for children to exhibit behavioral problems, since they are continuously learning and adjusting to their world. Changes, simple or drastic, could have a large impact on them that parents sometimes miss. Talking, encouragement, reassurance and professional help (if necessary) could help parents deal with these issues.

Can You Stay Home?

One of the first things you have to figure out when you realize that you want to stay home with your kids is whether or not you can afford to do so. You are probably used to living on two incomes, so making the switch to a single income may not be easy. However, it may not be as hard as you think.

If you have children already, the first thing that goes away when you decide to stay at home is the cost of daycare. However, if you work at home, part of that cost may remain, unless your work is such that you can keep the children home with you. Take a look at how much of your income right now is going to daycare. That cost alone may prove to you that you don’t need a high-paying work at home job to stay home – a simpler one may suffice.

There are several other costs that will drop if you stay at home. You’ll be in a different tax bracket. You’ll probably drive less, eat out less often and you won’t need clothes for work, which can save both on shopping and on dry cleaning bills.

When you’re figuring out how much it costs you to work outside the home, don’t assume that becoming a stay at home or work at home parent will cause you to stop eating out. You will have those days where you decide to take the kids out, more likely than not.

One thing many parents forget to think about when they decide to stay at home is to handle retirement planning. Now, if you’re just staying home for a year or two, it’s probably not a big deal, but if you plan on staying home for many years, this can be a huge impact on you when you do retire. You may not have the finances to fund your retirement account well when your family is living on only one income, but you should try to do at least a little. See my article on retirement planning for stay at home parents for more information.

Use this information to figure out what you will need to earn while staying at home. Some will be fine as a single income family, but others will need the stay at home parent to earn some kind of income. Ideally, this will be a relatively small amount, as the whole point of having a stay at home parent is to have more time with the kids and benefit them, not maintain a freely spending lifestyle. However, if a single income isn’t enough, a work at home job or home business will likely become necessary.

Figure out how much income will be necessary and how much risk you are willing to take. Work at home jobs are harder to come by, but home businesses are by their nature more risky, and it may take a few years to earn an adequate income from a business. Plan accordingly, and know that you might not be able to live your preferred lifestyle right away.

Fortunately, by the time you take out the costs of working outside the home, you will likely find you don’t need to earn what you used to. Half or even less of your previous income may be quite adequate. It may require sacrifice, but that’s what being a parent is about.

Four Fun Things you can do Outdoors Throughout the Summer Time

With the arrival of Summer time, you ought to start benefiting from natural assets around you. Obviously, if you reside within the city it could be a bit more difficult but that doesn't mean you need to limit yourself to ultimately remaining inside. If you're bored of remaining inside, then listed here are four steps you can take together with your buddies and families outdoors.

The very first activity I prefer to mention would be to go fishing. Yes, not everybody has the persistence of awaiting a fish to bite the bait but it's still an enjoyable group activity. Fishing provides you with the chance to chatter with buddies while awaiting the fish to bite. If you wish to boost your odds of catching a fish then possibly you need to opt for an expert (group organized tours etc.) or visit a fishing farm in which you know you've got a possibility of catching a fish. If you will find no fish farms nearby then you might want to visit the nearest lake, pond, ocean, or river. Make certain you purchase the appropriate fishing license if you are planning to fish.

The 2nd activity you could do would be to go white water rafting. It's relatively inexpensive. Also it requires lots of team performance. There must be many local agencies which will have the ability to link you up with a white water rafting company. Even though this may require you to travel just a little beyond normal, I certainly think it’s well worth the travel as you will have fun and get wet simultaneously. Make certain you are able to swim. They provide you with life vests but there might be occasions if you need to swim towards the shores.

The 3rd fun activity would be to go hiking. You will find many great trails at each condition. They vary in difficulty so make certain you get a route that is appropriate for the level of fitness. Hiking is a superb time for you to socialize with buddies and families. If you wish to go up a notch then possibly you might like to consider going camping for a couple of nights.

The final activity I must mention is outside photography. Obviously, this can require you to either purchase or book camera tools but you will gain a great deal using this activity. You never know. Someone might want to purchase your photos when they have an attractive appearance.

A bonus activity, and closer to home, would be a family cookout with a sheet of plastic sprinkled with water which turns into a water slide. This could produce hours of fun in your own backyard.

Chores Can Help your Child Learn about Teamwork and a Strong Work Ethic

Chores can help develop a sense of responsibility and self worth in your child.
It should be understood by all family members they are expected and necessary to a household running successfully and efficiently. They can help create a sense of unity and family and are a great place for your child to learn about teamwork. Parents should take special care to handle the delegation of chores to children so they don't become a source of frustration or create arguments.
Allow your child to have an active say in the delegation of chores. Give them choices. We all have household chores that we don't like to do, but if it's a chore the child enjoys doing then there's less likelihood it will create a battle in the end. The child will most likely appreciate having the chance to be heard and having a choice.

It's imperative that you set parameters early on for the successful completion of a chore. They may not perform up to snuff when they first start performing the chore, but show them where improvement is needed and praise them for a strong effort. Also make sure the child understands there will be repercussions if they only put forth a minimal effort. Ensure the child understands the need for the chore's effective and efficient completion. Set consequences for substandard completion as a team. Make sure they see that if they don't perform their chores, it affects the other members of the team. Spouses must work together and be a strong example for their children by completing their own chores each day. And don't allow a child to undermine your authority by battling with you over a designated chore. Stand your ground and don't give in, and emphasize the consequence and negative effect an uncompleted chore has on the family.

And keep an open mind when a child wants to discuss their thoughts or express their opinions about chores. Make sure the conversation stays positive and on target.

Bully-Busting Strategy: Respond Without Anger

Let’s say that you come across two students having an argument (or one kid bullying another), and one of them starts calling the other names. It’s infuriating, right? But you have to train yourself not to let that anger show.

Why? Because when we get angry at what kids say, we’re teaching them that words are something to get upset about. But since we can’t actually control what other people say, getting upset over words becomes a losing battle.


Instead, Izzy Kalman, MS, NCSP, author of A Revolutionary Guide to Reducing Aggression Between Children, recommends that adults stay calm and say something like, “Those words aren’t appropriate to use in school,” or “We don’t use that language in our family.”


Why Does Getting Angry Make it Worse?
The whole point of using hurtful words or bad language is to get a rise out of someone, right? When we get angry, we give the bully exactly what he was hoping for! And to boot, we hand over to him the power to do it again and again.


Why Does Staying Calm Work So Effectively?
When we stay calm, though, we show the bully that his words aren’t so powerful after all. Eventually, the act of trying to get a rise out of us with words becomes boring, and he gives up.


Try it for Yourself
Don’t just take my word for it! Try it out on your own children or your students. Give this strategy a whirl the next time one of the kids is giving you an attitude, too, and see what happens.

Copyright © 2010 Bully Proof Media & BG Communications. All rights reserved.

Quite Possibly Andy’s Best Work

Andy Andrews has done it again with his new book, The Final Summit.  Andy ties David Ponder and other travelers like Joan of Arc, Winston Churchill, Abraham Lincoln, and a few surprises together to show us how the wisdom of the past and the wisdom of today collide to make the final summit.  Andy weaves an intriguing story of history and challenges us to learn and teach others from our history.  Sometimes what we perceive to be the answer is just a step towards that answer.  

We see how David Ponder has progressed from The Traveler’s Gift to today, the ups and downs of his life to the joys and griefs of life.  You will feel the exhilaration and the frustration that The Final Summit offers to all of us.   Now I’m going to challenge you to do something.  Read this book for the sake of your family, your city, your state and the world.

What are the Three Qualities of an A+ child?

We tell our children that they need to be A+ kids, and there are only three things they have to do to accomplish this. These three things are to be respectful, responsible, and fun to be around. When you think about it, pretty much any behavior can fall in these three areas, and therefore if they aren’t A+ kids then you can name the category pretty easily.
Want some examples? We have family night every Saturday night, and on one family night much to my children’s chagrin we filled out a big poster board with examples of the three categories. Here are some of the things they came up with:
Respectful

• Saying “Yes, Mom” and “Yes, Dad”
• Leave other people’s things alone
• Keep your word
• Be kind

Responsible

• Do your chores without being asked
• Fast and snappy and right the first time
• Clean up after ourselves
• Ask for help
• Be honest
• Take care of feelings in an OK manner

Fun to be around

• Don’t call names
• Give people a chance
• Brush teeth
• Listen and don’t interrupt
• Don’t swear
• Good manners

In addition, we also came up with a list of “feeling words”, which we’ve discovered our kids have difficulty using. We’ve been trying to teach them how to tell each other (or us) how something makes them feel, instead of just saying “You’re a jerk” or “I hate you”. Some of the feeling words they came up with were:

• Embarrassed
• Angry
• Happy
• Lonely
• Sad

So, if you’re really looking for something fun to do on a Saturday night, make an “A+ Child” poster of your own!
Looking for parenting help?
One tool that we’ve used is the Total Transformation program by James Lehman. It’s given us a lot of solid, common sense ideas for parenting our challenging children.