Responsible behavior doesn’t come naturally; it is a learned
trait. It is important for parents to
teach their children responsible behavior at an early age; a healthy respect
for the feelings of others, and a strong sense of right and wrong.
Combined with setting a good example and involvement in a
young child’s development of social skills, spend quality time with your child
and instruct them about proper, responsible behavior. It can go a long way in helping to correct
behavior problems that could lead to serious consequences down the road.
Everyday experiences are a parent’s best tool when it comes
to teaching responsible behavior.
Because this type behavior is a learned trait, it can become habit
through repetitiveness.
Parents can effectively teach children with both words and
deeds. Parents can always tell a child
to respect others, and they may or may not comply in any given situation. But, when a parent consistently shows respect
for other’s opinions, feelings, and possessions, they teach their children to
do the same.
Actions + Words = Effective Training Methods
Our daily actions, attitudes, and social skills speak louder
and much more effectively than words. As
children watch what we do and ask questions, a golden opportunity is presented
to teach valuable “life-lessons.”
“Mommy, why did you let that old lady skip in front of us?”
“Because she had only a few things to buy and we have a full
cartload. I didn’t want her to have to
stand in line for a long time.”
“Do you know her?”
“No. I’ve never met
her before.”
“Then how do you know she didn’t want to wait in line?”
“Because she looked uncomfortable, and seemed to be in a
hurry.”
By exhibiting responsible, considerate behavior toward
others, children learn from our actions.
As we encourage questions and answer in ways that explain why we did
something, children better understand and become more conscientious of other
people’s needs instead of just their own.
Story Time…A Golden Opportunity to Teach Responsibility
Another good method for teaching children responsible
behavior is with the use of stories.
Most children are enthusiastic when it comes to having someone read them
a story. Select books that teach
life-lessons, and then discuss what was read.
Encourage the child to ask questions, seeking the opportunity to
emphasize good character traits, and the awareness that all actions – good or
bad – will have consequences.
Every Day Presents Opportunities of Its Own
Consistency and application are keys when teaching small
children about responsible behavior.
Spend time with your child regularly.
Encourage them to tell you about their day and things that happened;
what they thought or felt, what they saw or heard, what they did or wanted to
do. Use every opportunity to stimulate
thoughts of awareness.
Put emphasis on positive feelings, emotions, and qualities
such as bravery, thoughtfulness, compassion, honesty, kindness, etc. Help your children identify these traits in
persons they know, characters they see on television, or people they read
about. Help them to identify and
cultivate these qualities in themselves.
At the end of each day, ask, “How were you honest today?” or “Tell me
two ways you were considerate to someone else today.”
Show Children How to Handle Negative Feelings Responsibly
Also help children explore acceptable ways to effectively
deal with negative feelings such as anger, hurt, resentment, loneliness,
etc. If a child expresses feelings of
anger toward someone, avoid the urge to say that anger is wrong; instead,
explore their feelings of anger with them.
Ask why they were angry, or ask them to tell you how angry
they were. Help them understand that
while it is natural to feel angry at times, how we express that anger is very
important. There are acceptable ways to
express anger, as well as unacceptable ways.
Tell them a story or cite an example of someone who
experienced a particular negative feeling, then ask your child questions like,
“What should Becky have done when she got angry?” or, “Why do you think Eric
was lonely? What could he have done
about it?”
Helping a child to understand the feelings of others as well
as their own, and appropriate ways to express those feelings, are big strides
toward learning responsible behavior.
By spending time with your child on a regular basis and
teaching through example and discussion, you equip your child with good
socialization skills, and cultivate responsible behaviors sure to benefit them
and others around them for a lifetime.
©2006 Lori S. Anton
Savvy Baby Gear Editor
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