Becoming a first-time grandparent is exciting. An event many
people look forward to with great anticipation in later life. The first
snapshot that reaches your anxious hands, the first time holding your
grandchild’s tiny, sweet-smelling body in your arms. The first time hearing the
long awaited words “grandma,” or “grandpa” from cherub lips all will make your
heart melt with pride, joy, and love.
Whether you live a great distance away, a few towns over, or
just around the block, you can have a very positive impact on your grandchild’s
life, become an important role model, and be of great help to your daughter or
son – new in their role as a parent.
First Things First…the New Parents - To ensure that things
get off to a good start it is important to consider the following: How much help and advice is too much? After all, you don’t want to overwhelm new
parents, not yet comfortable or confident in their new role as parents. Or make
it appear as though you question their competence.
To avoid possible offense, it might be best to offer advice
sparingly, except when specifically asked. Once the new parents understand that
your motive is genuine, and not because you think they are not doing a good
enough job, they will relax and better appreciate your unique role as
grandparent.
It is also a good idea not to criticize the efforts of your
child in their role as parent – or the efforts of their spouse. Unless the
child’s safety, health, or emotional well-being is at risk, at which time
helpful suggestions instead of pointed criticism will produce better results.
Remember, your goal is to help create a happy and loving environment for your
grandchild, not one marred by hurt or resentment.
That aside, let’s looks at the many positive ways you can
add to the quality of your life and that of your grandchild, at the same time
benefiting the lives of others involved.
Building a Special Bond with Your Grandchild - As a
grandparent, you have the golden opportunity to play a very important and
positive role in their life – now, and in years to come.
If you live nearby, one way to spend quality time with your
grandchild is to baby sit, as time and health permit. This not only provides
you precious moments alone with your grandchild, but new parents benefit from
time off by themselves. It is healthy for parents to take a “breather” every
now and then, and what better person to care for the baby than you, the
grandparent?
Babies love to be rocked. They also enjoy pleasing sounds;
singing softly is soothing to a baby, and creates a sense of contentment. The
more you talk and sing to your grandchild, the quicker they will learn the
sound of your voice, the sooner they respond with gurgles and giggles every
time you enter the room.
The Joys of Reading - Toddlers and young children love to be
read to. Snuggling down in a chair with your grandchild, reading, laughing, and
giggling together builds a closer bond between you and your grandchild. It also
helps the child develop listening, reasoning, and language skills.
Select interesting, age-appropriate stories, ones with
plenty of bright, colorful pictures.
Choose stories that stress good moral values, and teach life-lessons.
After reading the story, ask your grandchild questions about the story; discuss
what happened, what the character did or did not do, and why.
Educators frequently emphasize the importance of the first
three years of a child’s life. The size
of their brain grows 90%, new skills are learned, and their unique personality
blossoms. Engaging a young child in
conversation encourages them to share their thoughts and feelings. Reading to them piques interest in literary
works early in life. Both facilitate
good communication and socialization skills.
Long-Distance Grand Parenting - Even if you live a great distance
away you can still have a big impact on your grandchild’s life. Precious
moments visiting back and forth will feel all too short; but such visits will
be precious and time spent together remembered with fondness.
When grandchildren do visit, lots of hugs and planning a
special activity together is important. A trip to the park or playground,
playing a game, sharing a banana split at an ice cream shop all offer the
opportunity to talk and share; filling in the missing months or years between
visits.
Distant grandparents can also take advantage of modern
technology; the Internet, fax machines, and telephones. Cell phones –
especially those that allow the exchange of pictures – are great and help
bridge the miles.
E-mailing pictures and messages over the Internet is an
inexpensive, convenient, and fun way to maintain daily contact. Computer
programs that allow voice messages and digital cameras for on-the-spot photo
sharing enhance exchanges and are the next best thing to actually being there.
At Savvy-Baby-Gear.com, we know that grandparents have the
potential to impact their grandchildren’s lives in very tangible ways. They also have a marvelous opportunity to
teach grandchildren about family history; linking the past with the present,
giving that child a deep sense of belonging.
© 2006 Lori S. Anton, Savvy Baby Gear Editor
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