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Parenting Styles

The most difficult job in the world is to be a parent and it's the one job that no one does any training for. New parents get tons of advice from family, friends and experts in the media. All this advice is sometimes contradictive and it's very confusing. Sometimes, you just have to follow your own instinct. After all, no one knows the child like his or her own parents. If a strong bond is forged between parent and child in the early years, the family will survive the difficult teenage years, which will surely come. Parents have different parenting styles when it comes to the thorny issue of discipline. Debates rage on which methods are the best.

 

One of the constant arguments is over corporal punishment, to smack or not to smack. Smacking was commonplace when I was a kid and it was part of life. It was probably overused and some parents did it out of habit, rather than as a well thought out strategy to instill a sense of right and wrong. I tended to be smacked when I was being a nuisance rather than for the times when I was actually doing something bad. It was an unthinking response of the older generation, a lot of the time. Sometimes, it was calculated of course, and more like going to the Head Teacher's office to get the cane. The next generation started to question parenting styles and a lot of people rejected smacking altogether.

 

If smacking is outlawed in the home, what can replace it? There are different measures, which parents employ, according to their choice of parenting styles. Stopping TV for a week or two is one way, or grounding a child may do the trick. It's really a mercenary act of getting them where it hurts. Some kids will prefer a quick smack to being grounded and not being able to see their friends. Sending a child to his room doesn't seem to work like it used to. These days, children's bedrooms are full of the latest gadgets and home entertainment centers. It's not exactly a place of punishment or quiet reflection!

 

Parents are very busy people, running a home and holding down jobs. It's tempting to give in to children's demands when you come home exhausted from a day at work. Kids can sense weakness and know when to strike! Parenting styles may have relaxed over the years and no one wants to go back to the Victorian severity when children were seen and never heard. However, it's important that we don't tip too far the other way. We don't do our kids any favors by giving in to their every whim, and what they need most of all is our attention.

 

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4 Parenting Styles

Every grandmother and grandfather will tell you hilarious stories of their children when they were first born. And for every funny and touching story they have, they will be able to tell you another for every hardship they encountered. Parenting is something that is done in many different ways by each parent. The following are four general styles employed by parents.

  Authority: Authoritarian parents rule on just that: authority. Commands are given to children that they must follow regardless of the circumstances. If these commands are not followed, harsh punishment will ensue. These parents do not welcome feedback from their children. In fact, it is met with severe punishment. The children tend to be quiet and unhappy. They have more of a fear than a love for their parents. Male children have trouble dealing with anger and female children have trouble facing adversity due to their heavily structured life where nothing ever changes.
 

Indulgent: Indulgent parents tend to be described as lenient. They allow immature and childish behavior. These parents expect the children to learn from their mistakes and to fend for themselves in most times of need. These parents tend to be democratic and allow for feedback from their children on issues. They will hear both sides of an argument and usually make a compromise. Indulgent parents usually avoid confrontation with their children by all means, but do tend to be more involved and emotionally closer to their children.
 

Authoritative: Authoritative parents are a combination of the two styles previously mentioned. They are the happy medium. While expecting proper behavior from their children, they welcome feedback and questioning on certain issues. They’re able to demand things of their children but are also able to respond to what their child says, questions and requests. These children tend to be the happiest, most confident and self assured of all the mentioned parenting styles. It is very difficult to be a purely authoritative parent.
 

Passive: Passive parenting is being completely uninvolved. These parents may never be home due to immaturity, work or the like. These children are usually raised by grandparents, older siblings, babysitters or themselves. There is no parental involvement at all.

  We wish you many happy stories!