Why? Because when we get angry at what kids say, we’re teaching them that words are something to get upset about. But since we can’t actually control what other people say, getting upset over words becomes a losing battle.
Instead, Izzy Kalman, MS, NCSP, author of A Revolutionary Guide to Reducing Aggression Between Children, recommends that adults stay calm and say something like, “Those words aren’t appropriate to use in school,” or “We don’t use that language in our family.”
Why Does Getting Angry Make it Worse?
The whole point of using hurtful words or bad language is to get a rise out of someone, right? When we get angry, we give the bully exactly what he was hoping for! And to boot, we hand over to him the power to do it again and again.
Why Does Staying Calm Work So Effectively?
When we stay calm, though, we show the bully that his words aren’t so powerful after all. Eventually, the act of trying to get a rise out of us with words becomes boring, and he gives up.
Try it for Yourself
Don’t just take my word for it! Try it out on your own children or your students. Give this strategy a whirl the next time one of the kids is giving you an attitude, too, and see what happens.
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